Australia at it's Worst

Yesterday in light of the World Cup announcements I thought it be interesting to focus on the Australian bid, especially since it only received one vote and was dismissed straight away. Up until that moment though, an entire nation genuinely believed they had a chance of successfully bringing the cup to Australia, especially since 46 million dollars was spent on it. Following the announcement, the general feeling was that they were ‘robbed’ and the officials are ‘corrupt’.

Here is the issue; firstly it never belonged to them so it is impossible they were robbed. Secondly, corruption seems possible in accordance to recent revelations but it is close to impossible to prove in such a secretive process. As an Australian, I honestly believe the only next step we can take is to look back and understand how a country smaller then our smallest state was able to succeed.

The first major problem is this video:

If I tried to explain what was wrong with this video I would write enough to fill at least a master’s thesis. Simply put, there is nothing right about it. It is a glorified representation of out-dated, unoriginal and irrelevant stereotypes. Australia, or at least the major cities which is the center of the country in everything other than geography, is built upon a pluralistic multi-cultural population, a diverse union of people linked under the common banner of Australia. The kangaroo has nothing to do with the country we are, nor does a man riding a black motorcycle.

If we want to be respected on the international stage, lets forget these awful stereotypes and focus on the qualities that cant be stereotyped. Perhaps then we will have an opportunity of gaining respect on the world’s stage.

Enjoy the video though, it is bound to go down in history as one of the worst ever.

Brought to you by a Guest Poster! Much Thanks.

Red Card, New York Times.

New York Times, we have to talk. Yes I read you every day. Yes you are the basis of my knowledge of news and culture. Yes because of you I know more about New York real estate than most people who aren't brokers.


This World Cup has provided an opportunity for a number of mediocre and badly researched articles in your pages about South Africa. Yellow card, New York Times, yellow card. I will not even stoop to linking them but if any of you have read in the Gray Ladies pages about how soccer heralded the end of Apartheid, represents the new South Africa, will prove a testing ground for the new South Africa, or is otherwise a Very Big Deal in ways it clearly is impossible to explain well in the course of one newspaper article, you know what I mean.

One quote, though, took the cake, and to continue the metaphor, pretty much draws a red card from me. This article discusses how apparently South Africa did a surprisingly good job as host, surprising given the problems, racking the nation. Fair enough topic - nothing innovative, perhaps, no real news there, or data, or item of interest, but yes, the World Cup went well, and yes people had low expectations, so there you go.  But what is this?

“The thing that overwhelms most is the level of professionalism of native Africans in knowing how to serve a bottle of wine properly,” said Philip Crawford, a designer of luxury homes from Noosa, Australia. 

Really? Really?? I try not to let my naturally left leaning self-righteous overflow when writing here, or really in general, but really? So first of all, my disgust is aimed squarely at the New York Times, who chose to publish this, not at the ignorant nitwit who said it.

Let me try to explain the foul here. The story in this article, insofar as there was one, is that the World Cup experience has been great given the obstacles South Africa faces: crime and poverty. This quote, in contrast, suggests that the South Africa, in hosting a fantastic World Cup, has overcome obstacles of, well, being full of "native Africans" - native Africans who apparently, should be expected to live in ignorance of wine pouring and other European arts.


Furthermore, New York Times, can you think of the greater significance of accolades to black Africans for being able to properly serve a visiting white man? Do you think this is the first time a someone has hopped off the boat and been pleasantly surprised how good Africans are at serving drinks? Do you think Africans haven't been pouring wine in Cape Town for 500 years? Really?? I am so so unimpressed.

DPR KOREAN SOCCER MADNESS

I am proud to be in possession of a World Cup 2010 brackets poster, you know, with a list of teams, and the initial matchups, etc. While perusing the list I noticed 'Korea, Republic of' in a group with Argentina, Nigeria and Greece, but then 'Korea DPR' in a group with Brazil, Côte d'Ivoire and Portugal. Two Koreas! You would be forgiven for being confused about which is which, but assuming that DPR stands for Democratic People's Republic, it is easiest to remember that countries with Democratic Republic or People's in the name generally aren't (see, DR Congo, German DR).

My deep interest in North Korea doesn't actually extend anywhere near to wishing for success to it's government, but I also do love an underdog, so overall I am somewhat ambivalent as to where NK goes on my cheeromeeter. If winning would provide for a "Sound of Music" moment, in which the entire team could defect and live out there lives in the lovely veld of Kwa-Zulu Natal, then I am all for it.

WORLD WIDE EXCITEMENT

Eurovision and the World Cup! So much excitement. I have watched a few of the Eurovision entries, and none so far deserve special comment, but I suggest you all pick a few countries and do your research. For those a little hazy on the details of this Olympics of song and dance, check it out.

Even more legitimately exciting is the World Cup. So except for the actual soccer, about which I'm not so interested, I love everything about World Cup 2010. South Africa! Short shorts on nice legs! And I'm not going to say most of all, but perhaps as one among many equal beloved things, Waka Waka.

Shakira performs this song, based on a Cameroonian, popular in the 80's, which itself refers to Cameroonian sharpshooters in WW2. There is very little I can say to do justice to this song, so take a look:


Basically a lot of my college education should have prepared me to be able to explain at least parts of this video. I have learned a bit about film, about non western music and dance, about Africa and African responses to colonialism, about African literature and film. Without some help though, this film leaves me pretty lost. Is the Cameroonian military an important/ loved/ hating institution, or are they singing about something else? The band is wearing makeup that reminds me of blackface, what's going on? The New York Times, as always, help me out by telling me that the pillows stuffed into the band's clothes are meant to show how fat and lazy they have gotten by riding trains a lot - is that all that is going on?

Also, and quite tangentially, the only World Cup game I have every been to was Cameroon v. Brazil in 1994. I was, however, in Paris when France won the World Cup in 1998, and in the weeklong drunken loud celebration, a drunk mine attempted to pick my pocket, but failed because all I had in my purse was sunscreen.