Wednesday, January 20, 2010

New York Mating Habits

Readers of this blog are experts on British Mating Rituals, at least those of the London Review of Books tribe. Since I typed up those ads, though, I have been thinking about how to understand those ads in the greater context of personal ads in high-brow reviews of books. I give you, again unedited, the personal ads from the Jan. 14, 2010 edition New York Review of Books:

AMERICAN GIRL-NEXT-DOOR, blonde good looks. Really pretty, smart, sensual, non-workaholic former CEO, now International Consultant based in NYC—known for insightful irreverence, quick mind, ever-present dash of self-deprecating humor. Slender and active with true explorer's spirit, be it exploring around the corner or the world. Easygoing, genuinely warm, stylish, intellectual, not dry or stuffy, just the real deal. Passions include: photography, travel (Umbria, Portugal), weekends in Maine, film, art galleries, music, working out, discovering great neighborhood restaurants: Milos, E.A.T, Il Mulino. Would love to meet co-conspirator, 52–65, bright, active, cosmopolitan man. (917) 903-4650; aze331@gmail.com.

SLIM, TALL, EPICUREAN Santa Barbara widow, artist, enjoys piano, wine, swimming, sailing, and spending half the year in France, seeking active man (57–65) to share life's pleasures. tssbwriter@gmail.com.

REFINED/LOVELY MANHATTANITE, 5'5", seeks well- educated, principled NYC male, 60–69, widowed or divorced only, Jewish (not religious), nonsmoker. Serious-minded only. mse10009@hotmail.com.

ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE Boston woman. Tall, svelte, wise, witty artist. Loves friends, films, and good food. Seeks mensch, 58–68. Sense of humor required. ta02139@gmail.com.

STRIKINGLY ATTRACTIVE, ARTICULATE, intellectual, active politically. Into independent film, MoMA, opera at the Met, anthropology, sociology. International change agent working with rural developing communities. Slender, sophisticated—characterized by warmth and contagious humor. Adventurous, yet down to earth. Travels to India for work. Gravitates to New England, Albuquerque, the Amalfi Coast, Lake Sevan. Savors fresh-picked figs, Prosecco, the op-ed page, NGOs, meeting new people. Loves food—let's cook together. Believes nothing beats relaxing at home with friends. Seeks accomplished, intellectual, attractive man, 49–67, for lasting, caring, real relationship. bks243@gmail.com; (617) 840-2260. (Boston cell phone but lives in NYC and Princeton area).

IS THERE JUST ONE MAN out there who is not afraid of being kind and loving? Who is generous of heart and soul, progressive, health-conscious, and savors life's small pleasures? A sense of humor is a must. This petite, exciting, European-born brunette wants to meet you. 63–72. Nonsmoker. New York area. NYR Box 52900.

EASYGOING ALLURE, BRIGHT SMILE, dash of mischief. Slender, athletic, adventurous, very nice-looking. Colorado girl, loves skiing, snowshoeing, but getting tired of snowy long winters—open to living part-time somewhere milder. Passion for the outdoors, keeping our planet healthy: hiking, Heifer Project International, Habitat for Humanity. Light-hearted, curious, sensual. Widow, lives in Rockies. Loves art, music, dogs, Northern California, Arizona, New Mexico. Gardens, though does best with cacti. Gravitates to travel that involves learning/exploration. Ready to discover more of New Zealand and Turkey, study French in Paris, do service project or just hang out together at home with bright, active, available man, 57–74. ess88999@yahoo.com; (970) 390-0809.

YOUNG AVANT-GARDIST SEEKS PATRON. I am educated, hugely ambitious, and unable to afford the time to work. Help me remake the world! nyrbpatron@gmail.com.

WOMAN WHO LOVES MUSIC (plays piano and flute) and has long career as a molecular biologist, seeks Manhattan man for museums, movies, and concerts. (212) 305-3646.

RETIRED DOC, Los Angeles, 73, widower, Jewish, not religious. Interests: music, cooking, gardening, local travel, kids, and grand-girls. Hope for cozy female friend. jbg396@gmail.com.

ATTRACTIVE, SLENDER. SCANDINAVIAN. Professional woman, 60, seeks unpretentious, reflective, caring man to share adventure and casual lifestyle. Interests: horses, hiking, nature, travel. Connecticut/New York area. mmosewater@gmail.com.

LOOKING FOR ONE GOOD WOMAN: funny, bright, available, likely unemployed, prefer European, as young as possible, with no baggage, who wants to live on the water in Florida with bright, eccentric, dog-loving, financially comfortable, university grad who is lonely for a one-man woman who loves the sun, etc. Pictures please and phone number. hardisonwt@aol.com; (850) 492-4683; P.O. Box 34271, Pensacola, Florida 32507-4271.

GERONTOPHILE, 57, San Francisco man, discreet, honest, attractive, seeking gentlemen, 70+, distinguished, no facial hair, who loves art, wine, dining, music, travel, for intimacy, and more. Geronto57@gmail.com.

PRETTY, RETIRED, rural clinician seeks slim, fit Greenpeace man, maybe share my Northern California 20 acres. pkovner@yahoo.com.

SLENDER, DWF, 46, seeks funny, warm, intellectually-inclined man, 42–55, for walks, talks, theater, travel, and affectionate companionship. waterandtides@yahoo.com.

ARTIST, AVID GARDENER, gourmet cook, hiker, nature-lover. Known for "beautiful blue eyes, intelligence, passionate connection to the natural world, magic ability to playfully enjoy humor, good fun." Relocated from the East to Sonoma for gardening, outdoor lifestyle, and admittedly, for great food, wine. Graceful, Ivy-educated, slim, lithe, athletic—easygoing manner, naturally pretty looks, high cheekbones. Cooks/entertains with ease, makes a mean paella, heavenly coq au vin —has yet to master biscuits. Works part-time in winery for fun. Delights in wordplay, Tom Friedman, architecture, Barcelona, Beethoven, birding, travel (not thrilled with vacationing alone). Seeking personable man (59–73), successful, content with life—passionate interest in things active and intellectual. mcrows440@gmail.com. (707) 481-0126.

S.F. BAY AREA— 67 y/o youthful psychologist, loves hiking, biking, skiing, international travel; seeks attractive, energetic woman, 55–62 y/o, for outdoor fun, cultural activities, and long-term intimate relationship. Photo please. thirteen68pc@sbcglobal.net.

Fran├žaise, 45, living in France, seeks man, 50–60, preference Manhattan or Washington. Easygoing, calm, unpretentious, curious, politically left. Passions: paintings, museums, books, classical music, humor. Hoping to live with you soon, chez vous.patrimoineparis75@gmx.fr.

ATTRACTIVE, YOUTHFUL, SENIOR WIDOW. Financially secure, warm and outgoing professional with joie de vivre; passionate music lover and lover of the arts. Seeks soulmate to share culture and romance in NYC, the Berkshires, and elsewhere. Mimi1R@aol.com.

I HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR Bach's English Suites, the beach in the late afternoon on a summer day, singing in the shower, cutting dahlias for the dinner table, cooking the perfect roast chicken, Chopin Nocturnes, making love in the moonlight. Me: beautiful, slender, writer, 65, NYC. In search of a vigorous man, 63–75, witty, kind, with an intellectual mind, an adventurous heart, and a lambent touch. No anhedonia please! And no wife in the next room. starlight631@gmail.com.

SMART AND BEAUTIFUL, intellectually curious and athletic. Consultant/educator—tall, slim with natural radiance. Adventurous with calm warm demeanor, genuineness of character. Expressive, affectionate, divorced, 5'8". Laughs a lot, thinks deeply, politically liberal. Interested in social change, literature, politics, nature, beauty. Midwestern roots, international outlook, has lived abroad. Actively enjoys skiing, hiking Rockies or Whites, tapas in Barcelona, snuggling at home, Mozart sonatas (but can't play despite years of lessons), Sunday Times,The Economist. Seeks healthy/active man (59–72) with warmth and an intellectual bent—Boston-area. Greta2222@aol.com; (781) 439-7226.

ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, CULTURED. Love Philip Roth, adore Charlie Rose, passionate about politics, professional woman. Raised 2 wonderful children. Seeking a sophisticated man, 75+, for fun and intimacy. NYR Box 53007.

BRIGHT, CAPTIVATING, AFFECTIONATE ARTIST and outdoor adventurer. Graceful, natural athlete, leggy slim figure, easygoing great looks, 49. International experience and sophistication yet deep roots in New England with the best of its philosophy, love of its landscape and light. Mischievous, genuine, sexy and comfortable with herself. Loves challenge of the elements: downhill skiing, sailing, hiking, breathtaking views. Passionate about photography, architecture, Maine, Japan (spent 3 years there), spur-of- the-moment fun, the environment. Contributes to the community, sits on boards. Improvisational cook. Seeks kind, financially secure, worldly, generous man, 45–58—Boston/New England area. (617) 816-1028 sas9215@yahoo.com; (prefers phone but e-mail OK).